It's not been that long since I last wrote on this blog but I really felt the need to write about this one. It's all about a dream I had last night, not just any dream but it was so surreal and took dreaming to a whole new level.
It started with a phone call in the early hours my mum answered I could hear the whole conversation even though I am in a different room than her in the house but it's a dream weird things do happen ! So she came running frantically through to my room shouting LUNGS LUNGS LUNGS !! What did I do ?? Rolled over and told her to shut up and go back to bed and stop being silly it wasn't my time for new lungs. Once she reassured me it was a true phone call we were told to wait the ambulance with our already packed bags waiting at the door.
As this was a dream it totally skipped the ambulance journey not to sure why, next thing I knew we were at Newcastle. I was on this little trolley bed thing and was wheeled to theatre immediately. Every time I went to theatre when I was young my dad always used to come into the room where I would get out to sleep as my mum couldn't do it she would get to upset, this was what happened in my dream my mum was crying so my dad took her aside and reassured her he would go in with me and comfort me till I was asleep. I held onto him so tightly it felt so real I was terrified and said numerous times I didn't want to go through with it but they knew that was just fear talking, I put my head on my dads chest and with that I was put to sleep.
The next part of this dream is my favourite I open my eyes and there surrounding me is my whole family about 20 people all around my bed (that won't be allowed when it's really time for transplant for infection reasons) I still have my NIV on but no tubes attached to me. The head surgeon comes in and says the op went exceptionally well and whenever I feel well enough I can go home. I look around this huge room I'm in in the ICU and wonder how I got here I am totally confused but after a while it all sinks in and I start to move I sit up the stand then walk before I know it I'm running down the corridor of the ward. The surgeon spots me and says well you seem much better you can go home when you like.
My mum packs the bags like we have been there for ages, we then head out to the car and head home back up to Scotland. I'm still on the NIV and my sister turns around to me and says are you going to take that off now, I look at her with a look of fear I mean this machine has basically been breathing for me for nearly a year I am quite attached to it, but I knew she was right (in the dream of course haha) she takes my hand and helps me take it off I hold my breath scared that if I try to breathe on my own it won't work, both of us sitting in the back of the car holding our breath then I had no choice I had to breathe so I did and there are no words to explain how amazing it felt to breathe on my own I know it's only a dream but it felt so real and amazing !
Once we got home I ran into the house up and down the stairs about 10 times round and round the living room I just didn't stop I couldn't I wasn't even breathless I honestly felt like I was on top of the world, and that's when it happened that's when I woke up ! Unfortunately it was time to go to the loo.
This has been the best dream I have had in a long time and I am taking it as a sign that I am going to get my new shiny lungs very soon as for now more of these dreams please !
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